A plumber attended to a leaking faucet at a surgeon’s house. After a two-minute job the plumber demanded $150. The surgeon exclaimed, 'I don't charge this amount even though I am a surgeon." The plumber replied, "I didn't either, when I was a surgeon."

A plumber died and reported to the pearly gates. An intern angel, filling in for St. Peter, checked his dossier and grimly said, "Ah, you`re a plumber; you`re in the wrong place."So the plumber was cast down to the gates of hell and was let in. Pretty soon, the plumber became gravely dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and began building improvements. After a while, the underworld had flush toilets and Jacuzzi tubs, and the plumber was becoming a pretty popular guy among the demons. One day, God called Satan up on the telephone and asked with a sneer, "So, how`s it going down there in hell?" Satan laughed and replied, "Hey, things are going great. We`ve got flush toilets and Jacuzzi tubs, and there`s no telling what this plumber is going to come up with next." God`s face clouded over and he exploded, "What? You`ve got a plumber? That`s a mistake; he should never have gotten down there; send him up here." Satan shook his head, "No way. I like having a plumber and I`m keeping him." God was furious, "This is not the way things are supposed to work and you know it. Send him back up here or I`ll sue." Satan laughed uproariously, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"

It's all in the punctuation:

At a plumbing convention in which plumbers and their wives were present, a speaker wrote the words, "Woman without her man is nothing" on a screen and directed his audience to punctuate it correctly.

The plumbers wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing."

The wives wrote: "Woman: Without her, man is nothing."

A proud father was showing a fellow worker a picture of his five grown sons. His friend asked what they did for a living. The father said the older two are doctors and the youngest two are lawyers. The friend asked about the middle son and the father said, "Oh, he's a plumber. Someone had to pay for all the others educations."

- from Joe Gommer, Ontario Canada

A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of lager and a sandwich. The owner looks at him and says, "But you're a duck!" "I see your eyes are working" replies the duck.

"And you talk!" exclaims the owner. "I see your ears are working" says the duck, "now can I have my beer and my sandwich please?"

"Certainly," says the owner, "sorry about that, its just we don't get many ducks in this pub. What are you doing out here?"

"I'm working on the building site across the road" explains the duck. So the duck drinks his beer, eats his sandwich and leaves.

This continues every day for two weeks. Then one day the circus comes to town. The ringleader of the circus comes into the pub and the owner says to him; "You're with the circus, aren't you? I know this duck that would be just brilliant in your circus, he talks, drinks beer and everything!"

"Sounds marvelous," says the circus ringleader, "get him to give me a call."

So the next day, the duck comes into the pub. The owner says, "Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job. Paying really good money!"

"Yeah?" says the duck, "Sounds great, where is it?" "At the circus" says the owner. "The circus?" the duck asks. “That place with the big tent? With all the animals? With the big canvas roof with the hole in the middle and all the cages?" asks the duck. "Exactly!" says the owner.

The duck looks confused. "What the heck do they want with a plumber?"

A little old lady had some trouble with her pipes, so she called the plumber and asked him to come and fix them, which he promised to do first thing the following morning. Being a little forgetful, she forgot he was coming the following morning and went out to do her shopping and then play bridge with her cronies. When the plumber turned up and knocked on her door, her parrot squawked, "Who's there?" And the plumber answered: "It's the plumber, come to mend the pipes." When no one answered the door after a few minutes, the plumber knocked again, and the parrot squawked, "Who's there?" And the plumber answered: "It's the plumber, come to mend the pipes." Still no one answered and so, after a few more minutes, the plumber knocked again, and the parrot squawked, "Who's there?" And, once again, the plumber answered: "It's the plumber, come to mend the pipes." By mid-morning he was crying with frustration and by lunchtime the poor fella had died of exhaustion. That evening, the little old lady returned home and stumbled over someone as she tried to unlatch her door in the dark. "Who's there?" she said. And the parrot answered: "It's the plumber, come to mend the pipes."

From: http://paulburman.blogspot.com/2009/01/homage-to-plumber.html